Let me get right to the sad news:
My love, and long-time husband Jim Macartney, is flying free. He died at 12:20 AM, August 1, suddenly, painlessly, and in his sleep. I was there at his side, and I heard his last breath. I miss him so so much, yet his heart now rests after a long and valiant journey.
There are miracles among us, and we often don't realize it. Jim was such a miracle man. Born with a heart defect--aortic stenosis-- plus wild, arrhythmic heartbeats, the man nevertheless survived and thrived through two aortic valve replacements (1975 & 2005), and several attempts by his sweet, beat up heart to rest...permanently.
I had recently taken to calling him Timex: Us folks of a certain age will recall the watchmakers timeline: "Takes a licking and keeps on ticking." And so his ticker did, and took him up mountains--including several times up Mt. Rainier--and ocean kayak adventures, and search and rescue missions, and around the world, and into the rest of his life as scientist, nature lover, philosopher, mystic explorer, counselor, author, speaker, brother, friend, husband, dad, uncle and, of course, a miracle man.
When I met the man who would eventually become my husband of 33 years, he'd already lived a full life. And so did I. But we were meant for each other from the time I met him when he answered the doorbell of his housemates' home, and I heard these prophetic words in my mind: "There is the father of your children." Now, this would be stunning under any circumstances, but it was especially stunning because I was married to someone else, and he was also involved. Hooboy. Yet sometimes, enduring relationships have complicated beginnings, and ours has endured through the wonders of a strong marriage and raising 2 incredible boys, as well as through the challenges of deaths, health issues, financial disasters, the loss and foreclosure of our long time home, and so much more....
When there were snags in our relationship, and after some negotiating and heated words, I would say to him: "I am walking with you." These were words of commitment to our partnership. And so, on the last day of his life, and after 9 months under the auspices of Hospice care, we took one final, slow ramble around the beautiful neighborhood that surrounds our long-term home in Anacortes, WA. We held hands. We commented on gardens and birds, and we chatted about our blessed life. We made future plans. Yes, you read that correctly: Mr. Timex was looking to possibly outlast and no longer need hospice care.
But his heart was tired, and with one last exhale, he soared into the midnight sky of the conscious Universe he so loved to study.
For a woman who's been in partnership for 99% of her adult life, the experience will be profoundly different, and likely difficult at times. Yet I will do my best to live a life he would want for me, and continue my life's work as inspirer and healer.
I am taking the rest of August off, in order to integrate and heal and start the lone road. I will let you know when I am back in action for counseling appointments, and whatever else I cook up. And...
As a tribute to the brilliant Jim, I offer you his timely book, Crisis to Creation (2010), as well as a book he played a huge part in creating: Downloading a Friendly Universe, (2010) by donation: minimum $15 pays for postage in the US. I need to reinstate an Amazon account, but meanwhile you can order from me here. Send me your address, and pay with check: Elke Macartney, PO Box 1065, Anacortes, WA 98221. The Venmo app also works, @Elke-Macartney. Enjoy the books, and thank you for your support.
Until we meet again, my love and blessings,
Elke