I confess, I am easily mortified (i.o.w: embarrassed) and way too often. Recently, I've been mortified for the following: Being a space cadet or distracted by life's challenges enough to forget important appointments. Unintentionally pissing someone off by saying words that were not meant to harm--but they did anyway. Losing patience and grouching at my loved ones. Getting angry and distracted by current events and therefore missing out on what's truly important.
Mind you, these are all temporary states of being or events, and they will most likely not cause mass destruction or permanent damage. Yet, within seconds--or even nano-seconds-- of having committed the offense, guilt and the ensuing mortification (Let's call it Mort for short) shows up. Usually, Mort's visits can last for way more than the seconds it takes to conjure Mort up. And to make sure the punishments are always worse than the so-called crimes, Mort likes to keep my mind cluttered with memories of the crimes.
Yikes.
Yet... Also recently, I am engaging in a practice I call Instant Forgiveness. It's a pretty simple practice, although not always an easy one to remember. Here it is:
Whenever I have created a situation I am mortified about, I immediately forgive myself for it. Immediately, as in, right away.
Instantly.
Now, there are times of course, when I need to check in and see what the heck is going on in here: Why did I grouch or forget or say or (fill-in-the-blank) in the first place? Usually fear has a part. Or stress. But unawareness or ignorance has shown up too--what one does not know can get one into hot water in a hurry.
No matter the cause, Instant Forgiveness creates room for me to pause and reflect a bit, and adjust my attitude or opinion or stress level or whatever needs adjusting. And if I need to apologize, I do so as soon as I can--even if it causes Mort to show up, bigger and badder than ever. As I've mentioned, it's a temporary show.
Instant forgiveness also makes space for something else: Freedom.
Freedom to move forward in life's adventure--isn't that what we all desire for each other?
Whatever it is that is weighing you down with mortification, guilt, embarrassment, and the rest of the sorry lot of emotional baggage, set yourself free by forgiving yourself first. The rest of the healing will come a lot easier, trust me.
One more: if I have spaced an appointment or offended you unintentionally, please forgive me. At times, I know not what I do. Yet at all times, I do mean well.
Blessings, Elke