This sad year, I had intended to press the "mute" button on the whole holiday deal: I thought, "Why bother?" For over 8 years, hubby and I had NOT put up holiday lights. In my busy days of caring for him and his beat up heart and brain, and because we were constantly on the move to find our "forever home" (where I live now), there just wasn't the motivation.
But this year, I had already purchased a small tree from our local co-op to plant in the garden, and I decided to put lights on it...way earlier than I ever have. I want to bring in the light in this season of darkness. The little tree is on my kitchen counter, next to a picture of Jim and me dancing at a long ago birthday toga party. Good times.
Eventually, I'll celebrate Winter Solstice with a few outdoor lights too. The lesson: Even in grief, I am allowed to change my mind, and bring in a touch of joy and light for me and my community.